Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Uninvited blows. What's next?

These American remakes are really starting to piss me off. Not just because they're bad, but because they can never get it right. Even if they do try to copy the originals, they still turn out bad. MIRRORS was an exception, but then again I've never seen the original film. Plus it's rated R and actually has some decent gore. The original foreign counterparts are often better than the shit we try to clone here in the states. It's fucking ridiculous. For those of you that don't know, the new movie out now called "THE UNINVITED" is a remake of the Korean picture "A TALE OF TWO SISTERS." Both films have similar stories, different styles and the same exact ending. Really then, what's the fucking point? Changing the title to a movie isn't going to disguise it as a "new thing." THE INVASION with Nicole Kidman made that fucking clear. Call it whatever you want, it's still "A TALE OF TWO SISTERS."

Why even copy these awesome movies when they could just easily release them here in theatres? I'm sure it would cost less. Most people would tell you that subtitles are the big issue. Despite what they may think, most people don't mind reading subtitles. Nobody complained about subtitles when PAN'S LABYRINTH came out. The only ones that do complain are the young and ignorant "fresh outta high school" tweens. Unfortunately, that's who these remakes are marketed for. Here in the states we turn R-rated horror stories into lame PG-13 English speaking exploits. It's garbage. I just can't help but wonder which awesome Asian flick they're going to ruin next. I heard that the BATTLE ROYALE remake was going to feature juvenile delinquents instead of high school students. I also heard that Will Smith is interested in starring in the OLDBOY remake, which they aren't calling a remake since they're going to focus on the "comics" rather than the Chan-Wook Park film.

If it weren't for the Chan-Wook Park film, there wouldn't be any interest in doing an American OLDBOY movie in the first place. Didn't the makers of THE AMITYVILLE HORROR remake say that they were going to focus on the book rather than the original film? I guess they were wrong, because it was even further from the book. Those douche bags were full of shit. Speaking of shit, why don't these studios just remake the bad Asian horror stuff? How awesome would it be if they remade CARVED or MEATBALL MACHINE? Now that I would love to see. Instead we get shitty adaptations of THE GRUDGE, SHUTTER, PULSE and now THE UNINVITED. Why do these studios feel the need to fix something that's not even broken? Films like BATTLE ROYALE and OLDBOY are so close to perfection, why do they feel the need to ruin it? -Nightmare Child

1 comment:

  1. Finally, someone who agrees with me! I have been saying the exact same thing for ages. However, this is the first I have heard of 'Battle Royale' and 'Oldboy' remakes. I think I may cry if they do that.
    'Tale of Two Sisters' is one of my all time favorite films, and I just recently showed it to my friends who now love it. One of my other friends cannot wait for 'The Uninvited' though and it makes me sick.